BLANK/BLEAK

starting from now on, maybe i should keep things to myself na lang muna. the more i answer to these stupid questions, the bigger the whole i am digging to bury myself. i-shoot ko na lang kaya ang sarili ko dun para matapos na. and maybe i should keep away from all the situations where i feel like i'm trapped and there is no way i couldnt answer all their questions.

also i feel like i am stuck in the middle, that any wrong move, ill just fall down instantly. i hate this feeling, but maybe i should make things work for myself na lang and not be so conscious about all these. but then again its easier said then done. usually, i am just sitting there and being my passive self. just absorb everything i could, and then throw it all away.

the thing is, people keep bugging me, and i hate that. so what if i dont want to join for dinner and go to pubs and bars til the early mornin.. so what if i just wanted to go home and sleep.. so what if i dont want to go drinking the whole night.. i'm appreciative of the kindness that is being shown to me, and honestly it is more that what i expected people here to be. but more often than not, i want to be left alone. its not that i dont want company, but tinatamad lang talaga ako, and i dont enjoy these things as much as you guys do.

if i already have a previous engagement, what do you want me to do? ire-arrange ko for you. and the tough part is i cant disclose where ill be going cause most of you weren't invited. and even to follow from the dinner to your gimik will be hell for me. malayo, and di din naman ako mageenjoy. so thanks but no thanks.

you can call a priest, the next pope, the one that is hard to invite, you can call me any name you want, but thats okay. all i really want is to sleep and stay at home.