When I’m confused – I just believe whatever, and pray.
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Something is not right with my mood nowadays, it seemed like I am spaced out with everything. I read my horoscope today, it says –“you may want to change the way you do things. A new job or finding a way to make some extra cash should be your goal. Branch out and try something a little different. Living in a rut will not lead to prosperity or happiness.” And I feel it now more than ever, sometimes its just so hard to make a move and think about all these, being busy helps me cope up, since I am so occupied that I cant think about anything anymore. Nowadays, I am so tired that I just sleep straight.. yay! no more sleepless nights for me.

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Our GM asked me, if I am happy or not? (assuming with the company) – I said I am okay. She told me that it was not a good answer. I never lie, I am not so miserable, and not really that happy. I am just okay, and better than where I was before. Well we talked about a lot of things in CBTL, and I answered straight and honest, brutally honest even. I actually don’t care anymore, I stopped caring for 2 mos now. I just do my job and that’s it, no more no less.

I guess crossroads are everywhere, but Ting, our senior pinoy writer, who believes in astrology, said that I will be in a good place next year, a time for creativity. She said that this year for me was about looking for things, and crossroads but next year she told me that I will find it and it is more of settling down – wherever that will be.

I hope she is right.

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I met up with Lynn, a local friend before she went on a holiday with her husband and daughter to Korea. So we chatted and stuff and then she left. And the next thing I knew she asked me to come down to the building, since it was raining so hard she was all wet and soaking. I found out that she went to a mall and bought me a box of brownies with a card. She was so sweet that I felt guilty that she might get sick before flying off.

The brownies she got me was triple chocolate brownie from BROWNY FACTORY which is my fave brownie place, and a card that is just to thoughtful and sweet. She told me that when we were having lunch I just looked so dazed and confused that she knew this will put back a smile on my face. It did but I just felt so guilty that she was all wet.

Well thank God for Lynn and other local friends – it was really a blessing getting to know these people, and being friends with them .. cousins, family relatives – for listening to me and making me feel that I am not alone, pinoy officemates for sharing my sentiments.

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Hay. Weekend is coming again, ang bilis ng araw, I hope it gets faster then stop a while on the new year. Oh my, i need to buy something on the weekend – 3 digicams, 2 of sony w30 and 1 sony dsc-n2.. what else? Uhm, I need to do some Christmas shopping myself aside from all the bilins, I need to buy gifts, though I bought for aggie and cho. I asked my mom what she wanted, sabi nya wag na lang, pagdating na lang daw nila on feb, I can buy her something as my present. So I said okay, pagvisit niyo na lang ni dad, you guys can choose something and that’ll be my present to you. Ano kaya ang present sakin ni mom and dad? Ang tanda ko na but I do get excited with little presents and surprises, its just something that I treasure and hold on too. Well, of course they paid for my trip back home, I just wonder if there’s any additional presents I’ll get.

So, what else, actually I am planning to do some cost cutting, cause my tax is so high up there that I need to save up to pay my taxes. Ang malas ko alng cause less than 6 mos pako nagwork and they year is ending kaya i get the high rate. pag more than 6 mos ka na, you just get to pay 5% noh. Wheew. I need to buy toys for my two inaanaks, I want to get something for tita bot, who else, some really close friends, some local friends as well. I am sure after this major bankrupt na naman ako. Arg. Bahala na.