VOID
------


i thought asking GOD for more things in my life is a little too much, i mean i have bugged him so many times to help and guide me in whatever endeavors i'd take, and it has always been the case. when i really wanted to be here in sg, i prayed so hard for HIM to help me and guide me to be where i am now, no consideration, no nothing, i'd just want to find work here and live in this place. well, i have been blessed, and was happy about it.

when tough times came, i tried to keep mum about it, and never really asked GOD what was happening. i mean, i just dealt with it for the past 8 months of my life. i use to complain and complain all the time, now, i never really wanted to talk about it anymore, thats the new thing i am trying, i dont want to bug people, and let them drown in my mysery or whatsoever. dont take this wrongly, its really not that bad, i try and try to look at the positive side of things for the longest time, but i guess, there are times when i cannot and will not take it anymore. i have felt extreme emotions for the past 8 months of my life, and i never can imagine i'd feel that if i was still in manila. somehow, i want to believe that, its good for me.

i know i had enough, and i need GOD's help to whip up something for me, whateve that is. so if YOU can read my blog, and if you can listen to my prayer every night, there's someone in my inner self, screaming for help. i know i did wish for this, and that i dont have the right to complain, cause truly i am blessed than my less fortunate brothers. but i also need to be in a good place in my life.

STEP by STEP
------

i need to remind myself of things, goals that i have planned for myself, and i know that when things seem to be unclear, everything goes off balance, you really wouldn't care about your priorities, and just do things impulsively, escape or whatever. thats the easiest thing there is. i dont know. i am confused. i am just thinkingout loud.

okay, let me do it step by step.

what if the reason you went to a different place is to assert your own independence and try things out on your own witout depending in anyone else. what if the reason is to move away from a familiar place, a place that loves you quite well, is that because you want your own space, something to call your own. what if you were looking that the new place will somehow teach you new things, make you more sharp in the way you think, give you training that you were looking for.

now, let me ask you, what if these happen...

you miss you family and friends badly, while the fact is that you can bear being alone and still having some friends in a foreign land, your family and friends will never ever be replaced (for a lack of a better term). what if the training you were looking for goes down like shit, and by that means, you work with people who you thought never existed (stupid). yeah, it is a challenge, but what if you feel like drowning, you feel that you are stuck in a hell-hole, and thats just it.

to be fair, lets say that you enjoyed your stay and your new found place.

what will you do?

EWAN KO
------

minsan nakakainis lang talaga pag may mga katrabahong kang incompetent. i mean doing sheets are simple, anyone could do it in manila, eh bakit ang mga AE dito hinde marunong, at kelangan ako pa ang gumawa para sa kanilang lahat?! medyo, kairita lang ah, just thinking about it ako lang ang gumagawa ng sheets sa buong lintik na ahensyang ito, more of a factory i call it. as if ako walang ginagawang iba.. i do multitask, why cant they - ang dami kong cliente, hello, masa marame pa sayo, tapos ako pa gagawa ng sheets mo? okay ka lang!!! ok lang sana mag multitask kung lahat ganon eh, pero pag ikaw lang, parang unfair at hinde masayang pakiramdam.. wag nila akong punoin at magreresign talaga ako. wag niyo akong subukan. konti na lang, konti na lang..

---

anyways, i wanted to do what ciox did, which is to travel alone, she went to baguio all by herself, i am guessing bus and stuff hah! nako, hindi naman ako papayagan ng nanay at tatay ko pag nalaman nila ang balak ko, pero i think it should be fun. i should do it.

WAY BACK INTO LOVE
-----

Artist: Hugh Grant and Haley Bennett
Album: Music and Lyrics
Title: Way Back Into Love

I've been living with a shadow over head
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past I just can't seem to move on

I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need them someday
I've been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind

All I wanna do is find a way back into love
I can't make it true without a way back into love

I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but I just don't see the signs
I know that it's out there
There's gotta be something for my soul somewhere

I've been looking for someone to shed some light
Not somebody just to get me through the night
I could use some direction
And I'm open to your suggestions

All I wanna do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end

There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration not just another negotiation

All I wanna do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do
And if you help me decide again
You know that I'll be there for you in the end

MY HOROSCOPE TODAY
------

6 MARCH, TUESDAY
You can accomplish anything you set your mind to. Money is heading your way and a deal that can help you earn some extra cash is evident. Someone you meet along the way will have an offer you can't refuse. A romantic evening will bring great results.

I read my horoscope everyday, well, for the fun and heck of it. Last Friday's horoscope was to good to be true. I've met with this person and yeah they could change my life forever. So i am pretty happy with how it turned out to be, i mean if they really want me then so be it, if its meant for me, then it will come to me in the most unexpected way. I mean its funny how things happen, all of a sudden when you stop looking for it, and resigned to deal with what you have, all of a sudden, it comes knocking on your door. And there you go, thinking about it all over again.

Anyway, let's just see at how things go, my horoscope might just be right, except for the last part that is.

POP! GOES MY HEART
------


MUSIC and LYRICS goes to the list as one of my favorite movies. drew barrymore and hugh grant are two witty comedians. i loved the lines written for the movie, it really is entertaining. i spent almost half the time laughing. hugh grant really sings well surprsingly, i mean who would have thought. oh one more thing, i can't believe drew barrymore turned 40 already, she looks so young and radiant. i wonder if the 2 would hit it off in real life. HAHA! i am dreaming.

oh, i went home past 1am from watching the movie, then i went straight to my iBook, and downloaded the songs from the movie, i mean how crazy can i get but i loved it, i love everything about the movie.



DREAMGIRLS. i am surprised why jennifer hudson won the best supporting actress role, aside from the fact that her veins would wanna pop out of her face and neck when she sings, i dont see the reason why. overall, i liked the movie, i expected it to be boring, well yeah at times it was boring but it wasnt that bad, they surpassed my expectations.

their soundtrack looks good too, but i was not so compelled to download itimmediately, maybe later.